Shaine Hatch is an Ass

Shaine Hatch. A man whom I personally know little about. I do know this one little fact, however. Shaine Hatch is an ass.

No one exactly knows why, maybe it’s because he never gets any action? I know that would make me cranky. An important point does come up though. If he thinks he is so awesome (as most in the genus Equus tend to do), why can’t he get any action? I believe those of the female persuasion pick up on this self-confidence well, but also see the brooding, “kick-you-out-of-bed-in-the-morning” attitude he exhumes. Those two things don’t mix. Self-confidence is great, but a guy that strangles kittens is not. I suppose that is what makes him so cranky.

Reasons aside, it is very easy to tell how cantankerous Hatch can be. I was in school for a total of one year with him. The moment he started sluffing his sixth period to come into mine, I left to the other side of the room. I didn’t know why at the time, but every time I went over there, I felt a sickening shadow, like I was going to spontaneously be kicked in the balls or something. And this only happened when he was over there. His haircut put me off too, I can’t stand it when people bleach their hair. It’s gross. Plus, he was a swimmer. The swimmers of Cyprus High tend to be the most haughty and conceited of all the sports organizations there, simply because they’re the only ones that ever win anything. I never hear the football players saying how good they are. You dick.

Oh, and some facts about his life outside high school. He left his mom, to go live in apartment. Mr. T lives with his momma, and look at how helluva tough Mr. T is. It’s obvious that Mr. Hatch just hates his mom, like the communist bastard he is. He also is majoring in Computer Science. That doesn’t sound so bad, but he is also minoring in art. Whoever minors in art is full of themselves, however bad their stuff is. They think it’s the cat’s pajamas, the bee’s knees, the Andy Warhol. Oh, and rather than spread God’s word immediately after high school, he went to college. That dick.

So, there you have it. Shaine Hatch is an ass. If anywhere in my incoherent rambling did you get lost, turn right at the next stop.